Although I'm hard-pressed to back from a fight,
you'd think that this would end soon,
but it's taking it's time.
Confusion, it is such an all time bad written melody;
of course you'd sing.

There are so many things I want to do and see, and I am scared, but I am ready. You know? I'm ready. I'm ready to get out of here, and I'm ready to do fight to do these things and live vicariously through the artists who created my fantasy worlds. I'm ready, I swear to God, I'm ready.

I need to hear Big Ben chime.
I need to see statues and structures.
I need to run through Venice.
I need to climb the Eiffel tower and touch the Arc de Triomphe.
I need to text and call and write everyone I know from every city.
I need to experience things. I need to.

In a couple years, I will be in college, hopefully in Europe. I will be best friends with spontaneity like I should be, because God knows, I hate routine. I want to read more books than I have ever read, and run my fingers across volumes that my life will not last long enough to read.

I want to have a degree, but it will never be about that. It will be about living. It will be about learning. And I need to learn. I need to. Some university in some city full of hipster girls and boys with accents waits for me, and I will go to meet it. I have hated high school, but I am ready for real learning. And yes, it's about history and art and music and just living and it always will be, but it's about friendships and love and stupid things on sleepless nights. And it always will be.

I want to flop down in the grass and work on ages worth of homework, more homework than two weeks of high school would have afforded me. I want to sleep in the cold of a European December, shivering under my bedsheets in my dorm with a roommate who may hate or love me, but will eventually learn to hate and love me, and then just love me. And we'll be friends for the rest of my life because it's not just my experience or her experience anymore; it's ours.

Every bit of the life that waits to enfold me in open arms is somewhere else. and goddamnit, I am scared. But I am ready. To live, to love, to laugh, to dance, to sing, to write, to read, and in the end, to die happy. Read More