Oh, how things have changed. So much. SO much. I don't know...everything is different and so much is the same and it's just a wild mess. And I'm hanging on for dear life because I know it will change even more before I settle down into my skin and sew myself up tight. I submitted my roadie application and I'm very happy about that. I'm hoping and wishing and almost praying that I get this position. I swear to GOD, I have never wanted anything more. EVER. 2 July is when I find out and I'm hoping for good news.
The senior rotary luncheon was yesterday. This is the first of all the final senior events - prom, graduation, project grad...etc. It's so much and it's almost all over and I can't wait. The only thing I'm going to miss is chorus. Seven years of dedication and goddamn, I am a chorus geek. And I love it. And of course, I'll miss my friends. I wish I had been hanging out with Lia, Laurel and Jess more before this year. Especially Laurel. At the beginning of this year, we talked occasionally. Now we barely leave each other's sides. Seriously. We realised that we're pretty much soul sisters and she's the only person in this God-forsaken town that speaks fluent Katie and I'm so grateful for that.
This isn't making sense, none of this. All I have to say is that I have changed so much and for the better, and that my life is changing and that no matter what happens, life is going to be amazing. I'm going to end up moving to Brighton eventually and I'm going to hang out with Matthieu all the time and it's just going to be amazing. Speaking of Matthieu...I love that kid to the moon and back. He gets me and I get him and he knows how to get a laugh out of me when I need it most. And he doesn't have to ask when I need it most - he knows.
I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND I LOVE MY LIFE AND I AM HAPPY AND NO ONE, NO ONE IS GOING TO RUIN IT. I've cut bad people out of my life for good and added good people into it. And right now...it's all just fine.
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Showing posts with label invisible children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label invisible children. Show all posts
Tell all the stones we are building a castle.
We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;—
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.
I don't know why I thought I could do this because I don't think I can. I have this dream, you see; I want to be a roadie for the best organisation to come out of utter tragedy. Invisible Children. Since they waltzed into my life around 2006, I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to work with them because every time I see the faces of those kids in Northern Uganda that still show hope despite the everyday torture they are put through, it gives me hope that things can change. And oh, how I desperately want to help change them.
It's been a few years now but nothing has changed. I still want to work with them and when I found out about the roadie opportunity, I became utterly enthralled with becoming one. I have always loved travelling and the idea of being in the back of a van with people I don't know but will come to know over a series of days and weeks and months excites me beyond belief. I would love that more than anyone could ever possibly realise.
I have stumbled through high school quite clumsily. I haven't had any highly amazing grades since the fourth grade and as it's my senior year and I'm done with high school in about seven months, I don't expect that to change. I'm struggling and pushing myself harder than I ever have to graduate and it's for one reason: so I can be a roadie. Right now, I don't care about college (though of course, I plan to go) and I don't care about future employers. All I care about is having the opportunity to help those kids and to change someone's life and for that, I need a high school degree.
So...I intend to graduate on time, and I will turn eighteen, but there are more obstacles. I'm supposed to have my license. I don't have to, but it's preferred and it would be nice to have, but it's not going to happen in time. Driver's ed at school is so expensive and I just haven't had the opportunity to do it. It'd be nice to just wait until I'm eighteen and try to pass my test to get my license, but that isn't going to happen either, seeing as by then, it will probably be too late. Even if I were accepted without having gotten my license or permit by then, there's still the money thing.
They ask that at least $1500 be raised for food, etc. but I have no job and have no time to get one - not with as much as I'm struggling just to get by in high school and my university classes. I am stressing out so much and I've pushed myself before, but never this hard. I want this. I need this. And it's not even that I want or need it, it's that I was meant for it. I finally found my purpose and it would absolutely break my heart if I couldn't do it. To be turned down would be one thing, but the possibility of not even being able to apply because there are so many obstacles in my way...that's another. And it's already breaking my heart.
I was meant for this. I'm not just some kid who wants to tour with their favourite band. This is so much bigger than me and I would KILL to be a part of it. And it's killing me that I may not be able to. Read More
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;—
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.
I don't know why I thought I could do this because I don't think I can. I have this dream, you see; I want to be a roadie for the best organisation to come out of utter tragedy. Invisible Children. Since they waltzed into my life around 2006, I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to work with them because every time I see the faces of those kids in Northern Uganda that still show hope despite the everyday torture they are put through, it gives me hope that things can change. And oh, how I desperately want to help change them.
It's been a few years now but nothing has changed. I still want to work with them and when I found out about the roadie opportunity, I became utterly enthralled with becoming one. I have always loved travelling and the idea of being in the back of a van with people I don't know but will come to know over a series of days and weeks and months excites me beyond belief. I would love that more than anyone could ever possibly realise.
I have stumbled through high school quite clumsily. I haven't had any highly amazing grades since the fourth grade and as it's my senior year and I'm done with high school in about seven months, I don't expect that to change. I'm struggling and pushing myself harder than I ever have to graduate and it's for one reason: so I can be a roadie. Right now, I don't care about college (though of course, I plan to go) and I don't care about future employers. All I care about is having the opportunity to help those kids and to change someone's life and for that, I need a high school degree.
So...I intend to graduate on time, and I will turn eighteen, but there are more obstacles. I'm supposed to have my license. I don't have to, but it's preferred and it would be nice to have, but it's not going to happen in time. Driver's ed at school is so expensive and I just haven't had the opportunity to do it. It'd be nice to just wait until I'm eighteen and try to pass my test to get my license, but that isn't going to happen either, seeing as by then, it will probably be too late. Even if I were accepted without having gotten my license or permit by then, there's still the money thing.
They ask that at least $1500 be raised for food, etc. but I have no job and have no time to get one - not with as much as I'm struggling just to get by in high school and my university classes. I am stressing out so much and I've pushed myself before, but never this hard. I want this. I need this. And it's not even that I want or need it, it's that I was meant for it. I finally found my purpose and it would absolutely break my heart if I couldn't do it. To be turned down would be one thing, but the possibility of not even being able to apply because there are so many obstacles in my way...that's another. And it's already breaking my heart.
I was meant for this. I'm not just some kid who wants to tour with their favourite band. This is so much bigger than me and I would KILL to be a part of it. And it's killing me that I may not be able to. Read More
